Jennifer Ellison
RPJ $yndicate 2008-2009 Bowl Preview Extravaganza and a Whole Lot of A.S.S.!
We are back with our 2008-2009 Bowl Preview. The reason RPJ hung its own shingle and is in business today is because of the greatest thing in the world….NCAA Football Bowl Games!!!!! Two years ago we went 19-4, made a boatload of money and after reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about one of the greatest statisticians and sports handicapper of all time we decided that we needed to share our insight with our friends, family and the public. Two seasons later, here we are. Last year we made money in the regular season and had a sub par Bowl season. This year RPJ was on the minus side of 500 and we fully expect to represent during this Bowl season.
A lot of you have emailed us on the side and asked us about our system. Some of you have even been so kind as to share your own systems with us. Thank you for sharing with us, The reason we think RPJ is successful is two-fold….Runny Pelvis the Fat and Flash Flash for the Cash. Yep, the two of us. We each have our own systems that we use and the only way we will put a bet out there for RPJ is if every single system points to one team. We use a blend of insider information, math and statitstical formulas, ATS numbers, news injuries, etc…Basically we use and analyze every all information that is available to us; plus the undercover stuff we dig up on our own.
If this is your first time checking us out, here is what you need to know. We post all of our picks and the lines that WE bet the games at. We literally bet every game we post on this website and we post it with the lines we get the games at. We are not here to manipulate lines or play games with our readers. We are here to bet our own money and in doing so we hope to win money for us and for you.
In this post we are simply going to introduce each bowl game, let you know what the current lines are and then share some of our news, notes and insights. We also like to have as much fun as possible so we are calling this our Bowl Light version. The day or two before each bowl game we will be back with an in-depth piece about each game that we bet and give you the reasons why we are betting the way we are betting.
Last but certainly not least, and our faithful readers know where we are going with this, we are going to pair each game with a hot chick. So for this piece, we are going to represent each bowl game with a piece of ass.
FedEx BCS National Championship
Jan. 8 / 8 p.m. Miami Gardens, Fla. FOX
BCS #1 vs. BCS #2
Oklahoma vs. Florida (-3 Over/under 72)
This game is for all the marbles. Does the Big 12 actually play any defense? Is Tim Tebow literally a disciple from God? If God is on his side, then how to you bet against them? We are just saying…. Throw in the fact that Oklahoma’s QB won the Heisman last Saturday despite not getting the most 1st place votes. Who, may you ask, did….yeap-Mr. Tebow. So much drama-we love it!!!!!!!
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Jan. 5 / 8 p.m. Phoenix, Ariz. FOX
BCS vs. BCS (Big 12 Champion, if available)
Texas vs. Ohio State (+9 Over.under 53.5)
Unfortunately, this game is called the Fiesta Bowl for reasons other than those pictured above (the inventor of thongs needs to win the Nobel Prize. Somethings gotta give!!). This game has huge implications for Ohio State. If Ohio State is run out of this game, the program will take an even bigger hit. USC ran them out this year, LSU did last year, Florida the year before. Right now there is elite and then there is Ohio State, the annoying kid that lives down the street that bugs the hell out of everybody because he thinks his shit don’t stink until he gets his nose rubbed in it again, and again, and again. Another loss of epic proportions will hurt this program for next year. Mark our words. And look out for Colt McCoy, he is a man on a mission. He was dissed at the Heisman…he should be good and ready to take out his frustrations on the Buckeyes.
Allstate Sugar Bowl
Jan. 2 / 8:30 p.m. ET New Orleans, La. FOX
BCS vs. BCS (SEC Champion, if available)
Alabama vs. Utah (-10.5 Over/under 46)
Is this the same as last year’s Hawaii versus Georgia, or can Utah really play? How will a young Alabama team respond after a tough loss to the Gators? This game will either be the best bowl game of the season or be a Bama blowout.
FedEx Orange Bowl
Jan. 1 / 8 p.m. Miami Gardens, Fla. FOX
BCS vs. BCS (ACC Champion, if available)
Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati (-1 Over/under 41)
We can not believe this is a BCS bowl game. Texas Tech should be playing Boise State in this game. Let’s send these teams out of here on some FedEx next day priority mail (and see if we can get this girl FedEx’d back to us!!!).
Rose Bowl presented by Citi
Jan. 1 / 5:10 p.m. ET Pasadena, Calif. ABC
BCS vs. BCS (Big Ten Champion vs. Pac 10 Champion, if available)
USC vs. Penn State (+10 Over/under)
Wow!! We’ve managed to find an ubsurdly hot girl with cankles!!! Who knew?!?!?! USC versus the Big 10. I think we have seen this game before…Ohio State, Illinois, Michigan, Michigan, etc… Pete Carroll needs to find the same attorneys he put on retainer for the Notre Dame game because their D is going on trial after this game!!!
EagleBank Bowl
Dec. 20 / 11 a.m.. ET Washington, D.C.
Tie-Ins: ACC vs. Army or Navy
Wake Forest vs. Navy (+3 Over/under 42)
Who the hell decided to replay this game?!?!!?!?!?! Has anyone ever heard of Eagle Bank?!?!?!? Of all the names they could use for a Bowl game in the DC area, they pick Eagle Bank!!!! Terrible.
New Mexico Bowl
Dec. 20/12:30 p.m. Albuquerque, N.M. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Mountain West vs. WAC
Colorado State vs. Fresno State (-3 Over/under 60.5)
The only thing about this bowl game that might make it interesting is if the New Mexico Bowl committee serves Montezuma’s revenge to all of the players for their daily meal the day before the game and these teams go out and crap all over themselves….Yes, literally crap themselves. That might be the only potential interesting plot line in this matchup. Actually, these teams have crapped all over themselves all year, so there is no reason to doubt that they won’t do so again. We are renaming this game the Craptacular Bowl. F ‘em!!
Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl
Dec. 20 / 8 p.m. ET Las Vegas, Nev. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Mountain West No. 1 vs. Pac-10 No. 4
BYU vs. Arizona (-3 Over/under 62.5)
The Vegas Bowl knows how to do it…..invite a bunch of Mormons to town to let loose. The BYU crew sells out this game every time. The Spearmint Rhino is getting ready as we type this post. Bet you have never seen a bible study group and circle jerk at the same time. Brigham Young was a genius….”Hmmmm. I think I’ll invent a religion where people give me all their money. In return, I’ll issue a decree that allows all the dudes to marry as many of the women in the tribe as they can.” Brilliant!! Let’s go to Vegas!!! The funny thing about this is we bet that if given the chance to play in the Fiesta Bowl, BYU would still choose this one!!! Mormons rule.
MagicJack St. Petersburg Bowl
Dec. 20 / 9 p.m. ET St. Petersburg, Fl.
Tie-Ins: Big East vs. Conference USA
South Florida vs. Memphis (+12 Over/under 52)
We are offering a free bucket of chicken to the first person that can tell us what the hell MajicJack is. Sounds like the name of a pedophile clown who asks kids to sit on his lap so the clown can show them a magic trick. Then, if the kids reach through the magic hole in the front of MagicJack’s pants they will get a magic prize…something soft and smooth that grows when they touch it. And if they are extra good kids and are nice with MagicJack’s prize in his pants they can put it in their mouths for a special juicy treat that magically comes out of it. Yes, we just went there!
R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Dec. 21 / 8 p.m. ET New Orleans, La. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Sun Belt No. 1 vs. C-USA
Troy vs. Southern Miss (+4.5 Over/under 54.5)
This will probably be the best game nobody cares about. This game will be a street fight.
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Dec. 23 / 8 p.m. ET San Diego, Calif. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Mountain West vs. Pac 10 (WAC if no Pac 10 team available)
TCU vs. Boise State (+2.5 Over/under 46.5)
We can not believe the Over/under on this is so high. Only one team scored on TCU and that was Oklahoma and look at them now. Other than giving up 35 to OU, TCU has not given up more than 14. Can somebody say UNDER!!!!
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Dec. 24 / 8 p.m. ET Honolulu, Hawaii ESPN
Tie-Ins: Pac 10 vs. WAC
Notre Dame vs. Hawaii (-2 Over/under 48.5)
1) Why is Notre Dame in a bowl? Do they deserve to be here? NO!!!
2) How funny is it that Hawaii is favored??!?!?
Motor City Bowl
Dec. 26 / 7:30 p.m. ET Detroit, Mich. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Big Ten No. 7 vs. MAC
Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan (-6.5 Over/under 62)
We have got the Fever for LeFevour!!!!!!! Gotta love the Bowl committe for putting a Bowl game in Detroit in late December! Next year lets have the Anchorage Bowl.
Champs Sports Bowl
Dec. 27 / 4:30 p.m. ET Orlando, Fla. ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 4 vs. Big Ten No. 4 or No. 5
Florida State vs. Wisconsin (-4.5 Over/under 52.5)
We are offering a free jar of marshmallow fluff to the first person that provides anything interesting about this game. This is not a joke. FREE FLUFF! The first person to write something that makes us want to watch this game for more that 0.0006 seconds gets a free jar of fluff. Any takers?
Emerald Bowl
Dec. 27 / 8:30 p.m. ET San Francisco, Calif. ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 7 vs. Pac-10 No. 5
Miami vs. California (-7 Over/under 49.5)
Well we try to avoid the Tedford turd sandwich as much as possible and this year it comes back to bite us. Turd Sandwich is on a two game ATS win streak and Miami has lost three in a row ATS. If we bet this game run for the hills cause we will definitely be wrong.
Meineke Car Care Bowl
Dec. 27 / 1 p.m. ET Charlotte, N.C. ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 6 vs. Big East
North Carolina vs. West Virginia (Pick em, Over/under 44)
We would LOVE to care for her car!! Flash’s pre-season pick for the Heisman, Mr. Pat White, gets to play his last game for the Mounties. Maybe he will help us all out with a monumental performance for our wallets.
PapaJohn’s.com Bowl
Dec. 29 / 3 p.m. ET Birmingham, Ala. ESPN2
Tie-Ins: Big East vs. SEC (or Sun Belt if no SEC team available)
Rutgers vs. NC State (-6.5 Over/under 52)
Rutgers is one of the hottest teams in the country and has won 6 straight games and 5 straight versus the spread. NC State has won 4 games in a row and an impressive 7 games in a row against the spread. One streak will end. But will anybody be watching?
Independence Bowl
Dec. 28 / 8 p.m. ET Shreveport, La. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Big 12 No. 7 vs. SEC No. 8 (Or WAC & the third choice of Sun Belt teams if no Big 12 or SEC team available)
Louisiana Tech vs. Northern Illinois (+1.5 Over/under 47)
We are renaming this bowl the, “Have Sex With Me or I will Kick Your Ass Bowl”. Only in Louisiana does this actually happen. Check it out by clicking here…. Louisiana man gets fat lip for refusing to have sex with girlfriend!
Alamo Bowl
Dec. 29 / 8 p.m. ET San Antonio, Texas ESPN
Tie-Ins: Big Ten No. 4 or No. 5 vs. Big 12 No. 4
Northwestern vs. Missouri (-13 Over/under 66)
This might be the highest scoring game of the bowl season. Missouri can not stop a pop warner team and the Northwestern Nerds have zero chance of stopping Daniel and Maclin.
Texas Bowl
Dec. 30 / 8 p.m. NFL Network
Tie-Ins: Houston, Texas
Big 12 vs. C-USA
Western Michigan vs. Rice (-3 Over/under 72.5)
Tickets for this game are not even selling for $25. We think the stadium would still be empty if they gave tickets away for free. Nothing to see here!
Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Dec. 30 / 8 p.m. ET San Diego, Calif. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Big 12 No. 3 vs. Pac-10 No. 2
Oklahoma State vs. Oregon (+3.5 Over/under 77)
These teams are going to score faster than a virgin with a $100 bill in the Red Light District. Should be an awesome game.
Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl
Dec. 30/4:30 p.m. Boise, Idaho ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 8 vs. WAC
Maryland vs. Nevada (-1 Over/under 58.5)
Is Roady MagicJack’s perverted cousin? What the eff?
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Dec. 31 / 12 p.m. ET Fort Worth, Texas ESPN
Tie-Ins: Mountain West vs. Conference USA
Air Force vs. Houston (-2.5 Over/under 64)
How can you not take Air Force in the Armed Forces Bowl?!?!?! Shouldn’t this Bowl require that two military academies square off??!?!?!!?!?! C’mon!! Show Army some love!!!!
Sun Bowl
Dec. 31 / 2 p.m. ET. El Paso, Texas CBS
Tie-Ins: Big 12/Big East/Notre Dame vs. Pac-10 No. 3
Pitt vs. Oregon State (-3 Over/under 53)
This is going to be a sad, sad bowl. I bet the Sun Bowl committee wishes they could re-select for this one. Guess how many tickets Oregon State committed to…..2,500. How pathetic is that? Pitt is not going to ask for many more in all likelhood. There will be less people at this bowl game than there was for the ACC championship. Only interesting thing is that the Beavs beat Mizzou in this bowl in 2006 so they have played in El Paso and left with a W.
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Dec. 31 / 3:30 p.m. ET Nashville, Tenn. ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC vs. SEC No. 5
Boston College vs. Vanderbilt (+3.5 Over/under 41.5)
Now this is a picture.
You know for a Bowl game with Gaylord in its title we would come-up with two hot chicks making out!!! We bet MagicJack and Roady love staying in the Gaylord Hotels.
Chick-fil-A Bowl
Dec. 31 / 7:30 p.m. ET Atlanta, Ga. ESPN
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 2 vs. SEC
Georgia Tech vs. LSU (+4 Over/under 50)
Winning the national championship in 2007-8 season, cutting your starting QB and then playing a kid from Harvard, finishing with 5 losses, playing a physical, incredibly coached team from the ACC that will beat the living Tiger droppings out of you…..PRICELESS! Runny is furious that LSU is in this game because Chick-fil-A is his favorite fast food. Such a disgrace.
Insight Bowl
Dec. 31 / 5:30 ET Tempe, Ariz. NFL Network
Tie-Ins: Big Ten No. 6 vs. Big 12 No. 6
Minnesota vs. Kansas (-10.5 Over/under 57)
We have some Insight on how hot this girl is!!!! The game, however, not so much. We don’t think Gopher or Jayhawks even care about this game. This is such a let down for Kansas. Mangino let us down. So much so we refused to insert our typical Mangino photo. We feel disgraced.
Outback Bowl
Jan. 1 / 11 a.m. ET Tampa, Fla. ESPN
Tie-Ins: Big Ten No. 3 vs. SEC
Iowa vs. South Carolina (+3 Over/under 43)
Caprice Bourret - Yes Please!
We are renaming this bowl also and it will now be know as the, “My Life is Ruined Because I Got Drunk at a Golden Gophers/ Iowa Game and Got Banged By a Complete Male Stranger in The Men’s Restroom as People Watched and Cheered Me On Bowl” This is the best story of the entire NCAA football season. Two articles go with this one….Couple has sex in bathroom as crowd cheered them on and their significant others watched Minnesota-Iowa game. This headline and the first article makes you think that this was some sort of illicit affair with two people actively cheating on their respective significant others. No no no. It is much better than that. The wife was at the game with her husband and the dude was there with his girlfriend and they had never met. See article 2….Update: Hawk fan says bathroom sex scandal “ruined my life.” This woman was 38, married and mother to three children. She says she was so drunk before the game drinking wine that she has no memory of a) walking into the men’s stall B) having sex with a stranger and c) getting arrested. And the kicker, the husband blames himself for not walking her to the bathroom. Dude, you are a freakin tool and your wife is a bonified HO!!! Dump her ass and take the kids. You should be able to get some sympathy lays out of other single moms during the next PTA meeting. And yes, she was fired from her job.
Konica Minolta Gator Bowl
Jan. 1 / 1 p.m. ET Jacksonville, Fla. CBS
Tie-Ins: ACC No. 3 vs. Big 12/Big East/Notre Dame
Clemson vs. Nebraska (+3 Over/under 55)
More Caprice!
Konica Minolta should re-focus their attention from the two terrible teams in this game to handing out free cameras so everyone could take pictures of Caprice. Much better idea. What happended to Clemson winning the ACC?!?!?!?! So much for Bo Pelini returning order to a terrible Nebraska program.
Capital One Bowl
Jan. 1 / 1 p.m. Orlando, Fla. ABC
Tie-Ins: Big Ten No. 2 vs. SEC No. 2
Michigan State vs. Georgia (-7.5 Over/under 54)
Jennifer Ellison looks delicious!
This girl looks like a hot Brittney Spears. This game looks to be a pretty intriguing match-up. Will Jevon Ringer ring the Bulldogs’ bell, or will Stafford gun out a win on the national stage to salvage their disappointing season? We’ll see….
AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Jan. 2 / 5:00 p.m. ET Memphis, Tenn. ESPN
Tie-Ins: C-USA No. 1 vs. SEC No. 6
East Carolina vs. Kentucky (+1.5 Over/under 41)
Goodness!! Such a great use of camoflauge!! Such a terrible use of a Bowl game.
AT&T Cotton Bowl
Jan. 2 / 2 p.m. ET Dallas, Texas FOX
Tie-Ins: Big 12 No. 2 vs. SEC
Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss (+5.5 Over/under 70.5)
Beware of this game. Teams that give up less than 100 yards rushing and are the underdog in bowl games win outright more than 70% of the times. This stat is undefeated the last two years and this is the only game where it comes up this year. Red Raider fans be very afraid of Ole Miss.
International Bowl
Jan. 3 / 12 p.m. ET Toronto, Canada ESPN2
Tie-Ins: Big East vs. MAC No. 4 or 5
Connecticut vs. Buffalo (+4 Over/under 51.5)
This game should be a real barn burner!! On paper, no one cares about this game. However, RPJ does. We love Turner Gill!!! Go Bulls!!! This game is practically in their backyard!!!
GMAC Bowl
Jan. 6 / 8 p.m. ET Mobile, Ala. ESPN
Tie-Ins: C-USA No. 2 vs MAC/MWAC
Tulsa vs. Ball State (-2.5 Over/under 77)
More hot girls with cankles!!!!! Plus, Brady Hoke just pulled a Saban and pulled out of town to coach San Diego State…at least Saban had the sense to go to a top rate program like ‘Bama. With these two teams, there should be a ton of points.
Enjoy the preview and stay tuned for our bowl game predictions!!!
Flash Flash and Runny Pelvis
